50 ways to annoy Serverus Snape
by Hermione'sferret
Summary: Set in 5th year. When harry has nothing to do Ron and Hermione are busy with prefect duties so he takes it upon himself to annoy snape
1. Chapter 1

A/N: new story and just to let the snarry fans know this is NOT snarry so don't get your hopes up let me know if it's good or not :)

Harry decided he wanted to do something fun. So he decided to make a list of ways to annoy snape. Ron and Hermione seemed to busy with prefect duty so they wouldn't care.

1. Show snape the horrors of snarry fanfiction.

Harry knocked on snape's office door. "Potter what do you want?" Snape sneered "to show you something that will give you nightmares" He said with a shudder

"AHHHHH IT BURNS MY EYES TAKE IT AWAY" Snape screamed Harry quickly ran from the office before Snape could cast any hexes at him.

2. Give him love potion to make him in love with Draco Malfoy.

Harry was under his invisibility cloak under the staff table he quickly put a few drops of love potion in Snape's goblet before scurrying off the Gryffindor table a popping up in his seat moments later.

Snape took a drink of his pumpkin juice he was going to kill potter for making him read... Why was Draco looking so sexy today. "I LOVE YOU DRACO MALfOY!" He yelled running at a wide eyed Malfoy. Draco ran out of the great hall a grinning snape on his tail.

BANG! "POTTER!" Snape yelled Angrily. Harry quickly put on his cloak and dashed to Gryffindor tower.

3. Make him watch potter puppet pals the mysterious ticking noise.

Snape heard a ticking noise and it was very annoying so he went in search of the ticking noise then he notices a laptop the ticking seemed to be coming from that he opened the laptop and then let out a girlish scream "AHHH its horrible puppets no get away" Harry sniggered from his hiding place "potter, what is this puppet show you are making me watch" asked a voice from beside Harry "Ahhhhhh snape" Harry yelled running from the room.

4. Everytime he picks up a spoon in the great hall run from the great hall.

Snape picked up his spoon to eat his soup when he noticed Potter running from the room like something was chasing him he shrugged and started eating his soup.

Hmm very strange. He seems to be running everytime I pick up a spoon has to be stupid Potter brat maybe he is afraid of spoons. Hmmm insert evil grin here.

5. Repeatly call him sevviekins.

"Hey sevviekins" Harry said as he walked past snape.

Snape jumps out at Harry pointing a spoon in Harry's face "what you doing with that spoon sevviekins?"

"Sevviekins when can we make love potion number nine?"

"Oh sevviekins let's watch the notebook."

"Hey sevviekins what are you doing with that knife? AHHHHH" Harry runs screaming as snape chases him with a knife.

6. Tell him you know all about his and Dumbledore's dirty little secret.

"Hey sevviekins I know all about you and Dumbledore's dirty little secret" Harry said sliding up to Snape with a sly grin on his face "Professor Dumbledore, Potter" Snape said "oh there's no need to call me professor sir" Harry said. Snape responded by whacking him on the head with a potions book.

7. Ask him if his animgus form is a fluffy pink cat.

"Your animgus form is a fluffy pink cat isn't it sevvie" Harry asked grinning "Potter get it through your thick skull I have told you this before I'm not an animgus" Snape said shoving Harry out of his class room.

8. Wash his hair. While he is sleeping.

Harry crept up the stairs to snape's room with rubber gloves on shampoo bottle in hand. He crept over to sleeping snape and started washing his hair only to notice Snape was actually awake. "Um hi " Harry said eyes wide "awwww you have a pink unicorn teddy" Harry said before running back to gryffindor tower as fast a he could only to realise he had 'NUMBSKULL" sheared into the back of his head

his hair pink

Potions Harry's least favourite lesson. He mutter a spell and waved his wand around discreetly as possible when snape had his back turned smiling when his hair turned pink and the whole class burst out laughing snape looking around not knowing why until he saw his reflection in one of the windows Harry gulped he was in big trouble.

10. Make him watch the notebook.

Harry dragged snape to the room of requirements where he had the notebook set up. "Now sevviekins you must watch this it is so sad" Harry said innocently as he pressed the play button.

After it was over Harry pretended to cry "wasn't it beautifully sevviekins" He said nearly laughing at the look on snape's face.

Sorry to anyone that likes snarry and potter puppet pals please don't be offended. 40 more ways to annoy snape hmmmmm will harry survive?


	2. Chapter 2

11. Steal his Death Eater robes and mask. Corner him and sing songs from The Phantom of the Opera.

Harry was silently laughing at himself as he put on snape's death eater robes and mask and crept to the great hall where Snape was currently eating dinner. He had asked Ginny to be christine and she happily agreed.

Ginny walks over to snape and beings to sing:

In sleep he sang to me,

In dreams he came.

That voice which calls to me,

And speaks my name.

And do I dream again?

For now I find,

The Phantom of the Opera is there,

Inside my mind.

nobody noticed Harry take off the invisibility cloak and stuff it in his robe pocket he then walked over to snape and began to sing:

Sing once again with me,

Our strange duet.

My power over you,

Grows stronger yet.

And though you turn from me,

To glance behind.

The Phantom of the Opera is there,

Inside your mind.

Dumbledore watched with an amused experission while the purebloods either looked confused or astonished and the muggleborns and half bloods who had heard of the phantom of the opera began to clap. "why are you wearing my robes? Who are you?" Snape asked looking confused and angry.

12. In a deep voice, say, "Severus, I am your father"

"Serverus, I am your father" Harry said in a deep voice he then pulled off the mask and bowed to the students before running away from a red faced snape.

13. Create the very first Severus Snape barbie doll. Sell them to everyone at hogwarts.

"Would you like to buy a Serverus Snape barbie doll? Well you can only 3 gallons" Harry said after casting a spell to make his voice louder he was holding the doll he made and had sold quite a lot already.

Snape was walking back to his office from the great hall when he heard potter's voice he walked round the corner to see a rather large crowd around potter he was holding so sort of doll wait it looked like him "POTTER!" He yelled as he ran at Harry.

change his name to "Princess Cuddles McFluffigan."

They sat in the hospital wing Snape had Cornered Harry at the top of a staircase with was changing and Harry lost his balance and pulled Snape with him.

"Princess Cuddles McFluffigan why did you push me?" Harry said to snape smirking "who are you talking to potter?" Snape said scowling. "you" Harry said showing him the leagal form which said:

Severus Snape's name has legally been changed to Princess Cuddles McFluffigan.

"Potter..." Snape said face going red before he tackled Harry and tried to strangle him "You can't legally strangle a student" Harry said grinning while Snape growled and walked out of the hospital wing.

15. Tie him to a chair and make him watch Barney.

Harry tied Snape to his teachers chair and conjured wheels on each leg of the chairs four legs he wheeled a stuggling snape to a t.v screen and turned barney on.

He came back 5 hours later "I love you. You love me..." Snape sang with a smile on his face Harry let out a girlish scream and ran from Snape who was trying to give him a hug.

Sorry I only posted five things. But I tried to make it as funny as possible. Review maybe?


	3. Chapter 3

his classroom with flowers and pink teddy bears. Leave a note that says Best of wishes, Snivellus. From the Marauders.

Harry and the twins made sure snape was elsewhere and then crept into his classroom.

There were flowers everywhere and a teddy bear per seat and two teddies per desk Harry nodded his head as he placed a note on Snape's desk.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

"Hm snape must have discovered his classroom" Harry said in Gryffindor tower.

Polyjuice Potion to turn into Lily. Slap him and say that you liked James better.

Harry gave the polyjuice potion to Fred and walked away to the great hall to watch the show they had gotten a hair from Sirius.

Lily Evans-Potter walked up to Snape whose jaw had dropped to the floor he was staring at her eyes wide.

SLAP!

"I liked james better"

18. If you're feeling really evil, tell him you liked Sirius better than either of them.

"In fact I like Sirius better than either of you" She said before slapping Snape again and walking out of the great hall.

the Sorting Hat in his room. Make it sing the soundtrack from High School Musical.

Harry placed the sorting hat on Snape's table "you know what to do right?" Harry asked anxiously "yes, sing this muggle thing called High school musical" the sorting hat replied Harry gave it a thumbs up and ran from the room.

Snape walked in and saw the sorting hat on his table it was singing:

WHAT TIME IS IT?

SUMMER TIME.

He picked up the hat and dropped it out the nearest window it couldn't sing very well.

a nature documentary about the wild Snape.

"Okay so we are watching the Snape from a distance. Oh look he seems to be attacking prey" Harry said talking to a camera as they watched Snape shout at a first year.

"And he is sneeking up on his next prey oh this is looking intresting what will this wild cat do. OH that's got to hurt" snape had thrown Mrs Norris out the window.

"And he seems to be eating the diet of the wild Snape is strange" Snape was eating soup

"Okay now we are going to try and get a bit closer to the Snape" Harry whispered walking over to Snape's bed "he may not look deadly but he defiantly is".

Everyone was watching the documentary about Snape on a big screen in the great hall while a fuming Snape ran at Harry "see I told you very deadly animals these wild Snapes" "POTTER!" Snape yelled grabbing the back of Harry's robes.

Well I'm not sure about that chapter it was pretty short and random review maybe? :)


	4. Chapter 4

a lightning bolt scar on his forehead.

Harry drew a lightning bolt on snape's head "POTTER!" Snape yelled at Harry "what? Now you can be like me sevviekins"Harry said drawing snape glasses as well "Snape Potter" Harry said shuddering.

"AHHH HELP HE IS GOING TO KILL ME!" Harry yelled running down the hall. "AHHHHHH!" Harry screamed as he fell down the stairs snape who had glasses and a scar had cornered him at the stairs and well obviously he fell but... He had pulled Snape with him.

22. sing the "I Love You" song nonstop.

They were in the hospital wing again for like the fifth time in a week madam pomphrey was too pleased "honestly never a normal day with those two" she muttered walking into her office. Harry and Snape had to wait for their broken bones to set so it would be a minimum of 4 hours.

10 minute's later...

"I love you, you love me we're a happy family-" Harry was singing but before Harry could continue Snape had clamped a hand of Harry's mouth "do not sing that evil dinosaur song" Snape said in a deathly calm voice. Insert girlish scream Harry had bitten Snape's hand... Hard so hard that it was bleeding.

Colin Creevey that Snape offered to pose nude for him.

"Psst, Colin" Harry whispered from under the Cloak. Colin looked around "It's Harry" Harry whispered "Oh hey Harry" Colin said loudly "shhhh not so loud I just wanted to say Snape offered to pose nude for you"Harry said chuckling before waling away.

Meanwhile in potions where Harry should be... but isn't ...

"Lav, did you hear Snape offered to pose nude for Colin Creevey" Parvati whispered to Lavender "Patil, Brown care to share what is more important than Bezoars?" Snape asked "oh well you see professor we didn't know you were allowed to pose nude for students" Lavender said giggling "what?" Snape asked outraged Parvati giggled and explained the whole story to an angry Snape whose face was turning redder by the second.

"So according to Ginny Coiln said that Harry told him that you offered to pose nude for him professor"Parvati finished. "Potter" Snape Growled before stalking out of the room to look for Harry and leaving his class without a teacher.

24. Shove him into a wall screaming "BOTHER BOTHER!".

Harry crept up on Snape who was looking for him to possibly murder him.

SNAPE'S THOUGHTS:

WHERE IS THAT POTTER BRAT WHEN I FIND HIM I WILL FEED HIM TO THE GIANT SQUID OR MAYBE PUSH HIM OFF THE ASTROMNY TOWER MWHAHAHA POTTER PANCAKE!

Harry's smirk slipped when he heard Snape cackle like a mad person no doubt planning his murder he shrugged and Charged at Snape he was under the cloak so he wasn't seen.

"BOTHER! BOTHER!" Harry screamed as Snape hit the wall "BOTHER! AHHHHHHHHHHHH" Snape had pulled the cloak off Harry.

"now now sevvykins put down the knife" Harry coaxed backing away from Snape.

25. Run down the halls screaming "Snape is a snapist he is going to snape me!"

"HELP ME!" Harry screamed running away from a livid Snape "SNAPE IS A SNAPIST HE IS GOING TO SNAPE ME!" Harry screamed as loud as he could people had come out of their classrooms to watch Snape chase Harry with a knife until mcgonagall stopped it of course.

"Serverus, stop that this instance you are a teacher give me the knife now" Mcgoangall said holding out her hand for the knife and Snape gave it to her reluctantly however "Everyone back to class" She said shooing the crowd away and shooting Snape and Harry stern looks before walking away.

...

Hmm interesting where did Snape get a knife hmmmm. Review ? :)


	5. Chapter 5

And here is Chapter 5! Enjoy the chapter!

SnapeSnapeServerusSnape

greasy hair is flammable.

"Sevvy oh Sevvyy I have something to tell you..." Harry said with an evil grin Snape backed away from him slightly "did you know that greasy hair is flammable!" Harry yelled

27. Light a flame thrower above his head to prove it.

He conjured a flame throw and aimed it at Snape "now potter no need for that" Snape said eyes filled with fear "I believe you". "Liar!" Harry yelled setting Snape's hair on fire.

AHHHHHHHHHHHH!

People came out of their classrooms to see Snape running down the corridor screaming Harry on his heels laughing his head off.

28. Recreate potter puppet pals the mysterious ticking noise.

Harry was behind a puppet screen with fred and george people had started to gather round wondering what was going on.

TICK! TICK! TICK! TICK!

Hmmm what's that mysterious ticking noise?

Not over here...

Not over there...

It's kinda catchy...

Snape, Snape, Serverus Snape.

Snape, Snape, Serveurs Snape.

Dumbledore!

Snape, Snape, Serverus Snape.

Dumbledore!

Snape, Snape, Severus Snape.

Dumbledore!

Snape, Ron, Snape, Ron, Severus Snape Ron Weasley.

Dumbledore!

Snape, Ron, Hermione, Snape, Ron, Hermione, Severus Snape, Ron Weasley Hermione.

Dumbledore!

Snape, Ron, Hermione Snape, Ron, Hermione Severus Snape, Ron Weasley, Hermione

Dumbledore!

Snape, Ron, Hermione Snape, Ron, Severus Snape, Ron Weasley, Hermione

Harry Potter Harry Potter Ooh! Harry Potter Harry Potter Yeah Harry Potter Harry Potter Ooh! Harry Potter Harry Potter That's me!

Dumbledore!

Snape Harry

Snape Harry

Snape Harry

Snape Harry

Snape Harry

Snape Harry

Snape Harry

Snape Harry

DUMBLEDORE!

... Hermione

Dumbledore!

Snape, Ron, Hermione Snape, Ron, Severus Snape, Ron Weasley, Hermione

Harry Potter I'm Harry Potter I'm Harry Potter Harry Harry Potter

All: Singing our Song All Day Long at Hooooooooooooogwarts!

Ron: I found the source of the ticking! it's a Pipe Bomb!

ALL: YAY!

Mwahahahahaaha!

TAP! TAP! TAP! TAP!

Voldemort, Voldemort, ooh volde- volde volde

Voldemort!

When they finished everyone heard a yell "POTTER!" Snape yelled "RUN!" Harry yelled. Fred, George and Harry sprinted away cackling.

him up on a blind date with Umbridge...or Bellatrix...or Voldemort.

Harry dragged a blind-folded Snape into the three broomsticks "come on sevvy your date is waiting!" Harry said sitting Snape on a chair.

He took the blind fold off "hello Serveus" Umbridge simpered insert girlish scream Snape had run out of the pub screaming.

Moaning Myrtle to stalk him.

"Hey myrtle, do me a favour?" Harry asked Myrtle "depends will you live in my toilet when you die if I do this 'favour'?" Myrtle asked "Yeah sure Stalk Snape for me" Harry said with a smirk.

"Professor Snanpeeeeeeee!" Myrtle said floating behind him. He ignored her. "Professor Snapeeeee!" Myrtle said louder this time "What?" Snape said annoyed "hi" Myrtle said giggling.

Snape was getting ready for bed 'seems like she went back to that toilet of hers' "Snape, Snape, Serverus Snape." Myrtle said popping up in front of him.


End file.
